The Relationship Expert
Licensed Psychologist in Newport Beach, Pismo Beach, & Los Osos
Couples Counseling for One
If your loved one is not ready for couples counseling, that’s okay. I’ve helped many individuals see positive changes in their romantic relationships by changing their own behavior. Once you start acting differently, the entire personality of your relationship changes. And those changes have ripple effects which can impact your loved one in surprising ways.
One Couple’s Story
Let’s say a married couple, Jason and Susan, are about to have a fight. In fact, it’s the same fight they’ve had many times. They both know the script by heart. Susan reminds Jason they’re going to be late to the dinner party. Jason says he’ll get ready after this play on the football game. She says she is tired of making excuses for being late. He rolls his eyes and ignores her. She is about to get angry but she stops herself.
Because of what she worked on in counseling, Susan has a realization. While she may not be able to control Jason, she can change her own behavior. During the commercial, Susan walks to Jason and says, “Honey, I am leaving for the dinner party in five minutes. If you want to ride with me, I would love it.” Then she leaves the room.
Did you see what happened there? She changed the script. We don’t know what Jason will do, but now he has a brand new decision to make.
Couples Counseling for One in Action
Can this work for you? I’ll share with you a little secret. Not only can this work in your romantic relationship, but in every relationship…with your kids, your in-laws, and that “friend” who only calls when they need something. I can’t promise that it will be easy. People may not react in ways that are worthy of a Hallmark commercial. In fact, because you are introducing a new and, perhaps for them, unpleasant reality, they may object very strongly.
You may not get it perfect the first time, but that’s okay. You’re not alone. In couples counseling for one, we’ll focus on the things you have control over and how you can begin re-writing the script for your part of your relationship.
“Dr. Lisa was by far the easiest person I have ever spoken with. She makes you feel extremely comfortable, and she doesn’t pressure or judge you in any way!…Dr. Lisa, thank you for being there…” Read more…